- Hooking Up At A Gay Bar
- An Etiquette Guide for Straight People in Gay Bars - VICE
- Do You Wanna Funk with Me?: A Beginner's Guide to Gay Nightclubs
- An Etiquette Guide for Straight People in Gay Bars
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And while it's OK for two women to dance together anywhere, you won't see two men dancing with one another in a straight club. Even though he was straight and had a girlfriend, Ron and I went dancing together often; we both loved to dance, and if no one wanted to go out with us, we knew we could dance in a gay bar without being hassled. Additionally, you can gather a whole herd of friends on the floor to dance.
As long as you're not crowding out others who want to dance, no one will care. Except for the specialty bars which clearly indicate, oh, hardcore leather boys only -- much like a biker bar is evident from well down the block -- everyone is welcome. From gym gods to nerds to fag hags the latter being the straight women who hang with their gay male friends to straight couples who want to try some place new -- it doesn't matter. As long as you aren't there to cause trouble, you can stay.
Hooking Up At A Gay Bar
It's a good place to meet people. Naturally, like any club, you'll run into a few pretentious and haughty regulars who look down on you, and you will encounter bartenders whose friendliness is directly proportionate to your tipping generosity, understandably, but by and large, most of the folks you encounter will be friendly, provided you are. My friend Lisa, a dainty but adventurous sort, used to drag me into some of the toughest bars in Dallas.
When we entered a truly scary lesbian bar, the initial looks we got convinced me we would die that night, but by evening's end, the women were asking us to dance and upon our departure, gave us rib-crushing hugs. At a men's leather bar, we came to know half the patrons by name, and when we returned two weeks later, we were greeted with cheers of "Lisa!
You're back! Still, there are a few things to keep in mind before venturing into your first gay bar.
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Many clubs have theme nights, such as Amateur Drag Shows or Leather Night, usually mid-week, so check the club's schedule if possible. And often, gay clubs in smaller towns or rural areas are entrance-by-membership-only, to keep out the rednecks and others who want stir up trouble. Usually, the price of a membership is equivalent to the price of the cover charge, but you will have to fill out a membership form. When I attended college in the homophobic town of Waco, Texas, getting into the one gay bar in town reminded me of entering a speak-easy during Prohibition, but once inside, the patrons were all nice and easy-going.
Having said all that, now a word of warning.
An Etiquette Guide for Straight People in Gay Bars - VICE
Depending on the city, the parts of town where gay bars are located are often rough, and crime rates are high. Even when located in "nicer" parts of town, gay bars tend to attract con artists, pick pockets, and gay bashers looking to prey on the weak or drunk. Be sure to practice the common sense rules for a night-out on the town: Having one sober person in your group will not only help insure you get home safely, it could also help scare off those who want to take advantage of any intoxicated state you might be in. Ultimately, where you go out for a night's entertainment should be decided by where you feel comfortable.
If you would prefer to have bamboo shoved under your nails to being around homosexuals, then best to stay out of gay clubs. However, if you have no problem with gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered people in general, they in turn will have no problem with you, so you ought to give the local gay bar a try.
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Do You Wanna Funk with Me?: A Beginner's Guide to Gay Nightclubs
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Shook Twins illustrate their willingness to take musical gambles. As such, Some Good Lives captures moments when the risks yield endless rewards. All rights reserved. Popmatters is wholly independently owned and operated. Powered by RebelMouse. A Beginner's Guide to Gay Nightclubs. Going to a gay nightclub shouldn't be an intimidating experience, and could prove to be the most fun straight people have had out in a long time.
An Etiquette Guide for Straight People in Gay Bars
Having said all that, why should you go to a gay nightclub? Well, there are several reasons: The music is better for dancing, unless you are looking to go two-stepping, hip-hopping, or ballroom dancing. I am a bit of a homebody now, but when I frequented the clubs, which was often three-to-four times per week, it was to dance. In my quest for the perfect dance club, I tried, or was dragged to, discos of all varieties, so I know from experience that the best dance music is in a gay bar. The DJs there stay away from remixes of radio hits and focus on music designed for hi-energy dancing.
And numerous dance masters and producers market their goods to gay clubs specifically. Sylvester, the late disco diva of the '80s, was one of the first to target gay audiences, and he established a proud tradition of producing multi-layered tracks to which even the most rhythmically-challenged could dance. Be wary, too, of searching around like a meerkat. We live in an age when people are more and more afraid to talk to strangers.
You could end up having a glorious evening discussing your favorite books before you head back to your place and fool around.
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Conversation, however, is key. The thing about using hookup apps is that everything is so surface. Face-to-face, while this certainly still happens, you have more of a chance of successfully hooking up with someone you find attractive because you get to be you, and the best way to show yourself off is to be confident. And a note here: Confidence is more than skin deep.
In the immortal words of Mama Ru: It should be fun.